Rude Russians

Back in 2008, when I was in New York on work and travel program, during a conversation with my friend John I said something which was not very polite and then apologized for being rude. I do not remember what I apologized for, but I do remember what he answered: “You are not rude, just Russian”. It was a good excuse, and I was relieved that it was not entirely my fault. And of course it was a joke, but as we say in Russia, behind every joke there is a grain of truth. I’ve heard very often that people from abroad think Russians are rude and/or arrogant.

Well, people that you meet on the street, at a supermarket or at a restaurant may seem rude to you, if you come from another culture. And sometimes they are (in any country there are rude people). But very often people come to the conclusion that Russians are rude just because we do not normally talk or smile to strangers that much. For example, today I met my friend at a coffee house, we went for a walk and had dinner at a restaurant later. In both places the waiters did not say hello to us, did not wish us a nice evening, did not ask us any questions (apart from “have you made your choice?”). They just brought us the menu and brought us the food. I guess that waiters who do not talk and do not smile could seem rude to people from other cultures, but to me it was the best way they could do their job: they were quick and the food was good, and I wanted to talk to my friend. It would even have seemed suspicious if they had started asking questions or talking about something with us.

Sign saying it is forbidden to talk to strangers (Moscow, Patriarch ponds)

Unlike in Moscow, when my sister and I were at a Vancouver restaurant, a very nice smiley waitress talked to us for some minutes about the weather, asked us what our plans for the day were, what we had done before coming to the restaurant, etc. First I thought she was a friend of my sister’s or a waitress she saw often at that place. Then I realized that this is how things are like in Canadian restaurants

When I was in France in 2006, twice a week I went to the same supermarket, and the guy who worked there always smiled to me with a broad smile and said “Bonne journée”. I was 18, it was my first trip abroad and in the shops in my town people did not say that to clients. So I thought the guy was secretly in love with me. Well, to my disappointment later I realized I was not that special: he smiled and said “Bonne journée” to everyone…

When I was 20, I read a book on psychology (something about positive thinking), where one of the exercises was to smile to people in the street. I took the task very seriously and smiled to about 7 people in the streets of Nizhniy Novgorod. The first 3 were guys and it was ok (they smiled back or accidentally on purpose showed their wedding finger). Another 3 looked at me as if I was mad. The 7^th was a woman of about 50 that started shouting: she thought I was laughing at her, and she had that reaction just because she did not expect a smile from a stranger.

The conclusion from this is the following: in general we are not rude. We just do not talk/smile to strangers that much. We keep all that for close people.

So…Dear John! If you read it, I have a confession to make. I, Tatiana Globa, was (maybe) rude in 2008. I am personally responsible for that, Please do not blame it on my nation:)