Russians and the destiny

A couple of weeks ago I was watching a play in one of Moscow theatres (based on Anton Ponizovsky’s book «Обращение вслух» (I Am All Ears), 2013. The main topic of the book/play was the “mysterious Russian soul”. In the play, a number of different life stories of Russian commoners were told by those commoners and then discussed by four Russian people, who accidentally met in Switzerland. The four people, among whom there was a middle-aged guy who mainly criticized his compatriots, and a young guy, who was defending them, tried to discover the essence of ‘Russianness’ from those life stories.

There were many topics raised, and if you are interested, you can read the book/watch the play. But one of the ideas that I want to share with you today is the belief of most Russians in destiny.

The example from the play was the following: a girl loved a guy, very much. He loved her too. They saw each other from time to time, enjoying the company of each other. After some time he joined the army and was far from the place she lived. When the guy she loved came to see her for one day from the army, she knew he still loved her, but he did not say anything about future and marriage. She did not ask of course, women are not supposed to ask such things. So he left to continue his service, and she married another guy. She still loved the first guy, but she thought that since he did not propose, and she was of the age when people are supposed to get married, it was her destiny to marry the other one, who proposed.

The middle-aged guy from the play laughed at that woman – isn’t it stupid to rely on destiny in such questions? Isn’t it one of the most important choices in life? If yes, why then didn’t she at least proactively ask the guy she loved about his plans for the future with her?

White square, Moscow

Well, you know… I’ve heard some stories like this one, and I often hear from Russian people answering the question why they are not together with someone they love, or why they did not go to the university they wanted, or why they did not move to the place they wanted one short answer – “Не судьба” (“it was not meant to be”). I hear it often, but not always, because some people know that “destiny” is not something 100% predetermined, they know that we ourselves are responsible for our life, so "destiny" means circumstances we live in, and some of them we can choose (like partners for life, profession, etc.) while others we can not (parents, color of our eyes, place of birth). Yet in Russia you will often get that "не судьба" answer - probably, sometimes it will be so just because it is the shortest one:)

It is funny, but if I ask the same questions people from the west, they will more likely give a logic answer, explaining their choice – because they believe that their life and choices in it totally, 100% depend on them, not on some kind of external power.

Maybe our choices in life totally depend on us and we can logically explain them, or maybe they depend on the destiny. Anyway, I personally think that there is inner logic in our destiny (and for the definition of destiny - see above) :)