Meet A. Blok

If you live in Moscow and think where to go out of the city on the weekend, one of the ideas is to go to places like Shakhmatovo-Boblovo-Tarakanovo, which are associated with the names of Alexander Bloc, a major poet of the Russian Symbolism style, one of the most important poets of the Silver Age of Russian poetry, and with the name of the famous Russian chemist and inventor Dmitri Mendeleev, who created the periodic table of elements. All the three places are located very close to each other, and it will take you about 2 hours to get there from Moscow.

Shakhmatovo is the place where Alexander Bloc used to live, where he got his inspiration and wrote many of his famous poems, including the cycle of poems “Stikhi o prekrasnoi Dame” (Verses About the Beautiful Lady) dedicated to the love of his life, his wife Lyubov Mendeleeva. Here is one of the poems:

* * *

Shakhmatovo, November 2016

Мне страшно с Тобой встречаться.
Страшнее Тебя не встречать.
Я стал всему удивляться,
На всем уловил печать

По улице ходят тени,
Не пойму - живут, или спят...
Прильнув к церковной ступени,
Боюсь оглянуться назад.

Кладут мне на плечи руки,
Но я не помню имен.
В ушах раздаются звуки
Недавних больших похорон.

А хмурое небо низко -
Покрыло и самый храм.
Я знаю- Ты здесь Ты близко.
Тебя здесь нет. Ты - там.

Of meeting you I am frightened,
More frightened I am not to meet.
To wonder at all things I've started,
On all things a brand I have put.

On street the shadows are walking,
I cannot say - live or dead.
To the church staircase leaning,
I am afraid to look back.

People put hands on my shoulders,
But I don't remember the names.
Resounds the noise in my ears
Of recent funeral days.

And the dark sky is low -
It covers the sounds everywhere.
I know: You are here. You're close.
You are not here. You - are there.


With Lyubov (Lyuba) Mendeleeva, daughter of the chemist Dmitri Mendeleev, young Bloc often played on the stage of a small home theatre in Boblovo, the Mendeleev’s manor: he was Hamlet and she was his Ophelia. He loved her very much and said that there were only two women in his life: Lyuba and all the others. Unfortunately his married life was far from unclouded happiness: there was a love triangle between Alexander, Lyubov and Andrei Bely.

Blok had an influence on many famous Russian poets, and he was admired by his literary colleagues, such as Anna Akhmatova, Marina Tsvetaeva, Boris Pasternak and Vladimir Nabokov. He was not only admired by his fellow poets: many girls were in love with him, which was natural, as he was handsome, highly intellectual, and his thoughts and poetry made girls’ hearts beat. To one of them, Elizaveta Yurievna Pilenko, also known later as Mother Maria (Saint Mary) and who was a member of the French Resistance during World War II (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria_Skobtsova) he addressed his poem:

***
Когда вы стоите на моем пути,

Такая живая, такая красивая,
Но такая измученная,
Говорите все о печальном,
Думаете о смерти,
Никого не любите
И презираете свою красоту -
Что же? Разве я обижу вас?

О, нет! Ведь я не насильник,
Не обманщик и не гордец,
Хотя много знаю,
Слишком много думаю с детства
И слишком занят собой.
Ведь я - сочинитель,
Человек, называющий все по имени,
Отнимающий аромат у живого цветка.

Сколько ни говорите о печальном,
Сколько ни размышляйте о концах и началах,
Все же, я смею думать,
Что вам только пятнадцать лет.
И потому я хотел бы,
Чтобы вы влюбились в простого человека,
Который любит землю и небо
Больше, чем рифмованные и нерифмованные речи о земле и о небе.

Право, я буду рад за вас,
Так как - только влюбленный
Имеет право на звание человека.

6 февраля 1908

***
When you are standing on my path,

Boblovo, November 2016

So full of life, so full of beauty,
And yet so wearied,
You only talk about sad things,
You only think about death,
You do not love a soul,
And you despise your beauty –
What then? Could I offend you?

O, no! I’m not an oppressor,
Not a deceiver or an arrogant man,
Although I know quite a lot,
And I think too much since my youth,
And I’m too occupied with myself.
You see, I’m – a writer,
A man, who calls everything by its name,
And steals the aroma from a living flower.

Just don’t talk about sad things,
Or reflect on endings and new beginnings,
I still dare to think,
That you are only fifteen years old.
And for this reason I’d like it,
If you could fall in love with a simple person,
One, who loves the earth and the sky more than
The rhyming or non-rhyming words about the earth and the sky.

Truly, I’ll be happy for you,
Since - only the one who’s in love
Has the right to be called a human.

February 6, 1908
By Alexander Blok
Translation by Andrey Kneller

Here is on of the most famous poems by Alexander Blok:

Ночь, улица, фонарь, аптека,

Бессмысленный и тусклый свет.
Живи еще хоть четверть века -
Все будет так. Исхода нет.

Умрешь - начнешь опять сначала
И повторится все, как встарь:
Ночь, ледяная рябь канала,
Аптека, улица, фонарь.

Some night and street, some chemist's lantern
Is bringing senseless weary light.
Well, nothing changes, that's one pattern,
Live extra twenty-five and find.

You die to start a life all over,
All things repeat as did before.
That night, cold waters at quay border,
That light, that street, that chemist's store.

“

”

"The night, the street, the lantern, the drugstore..." (1912)Translated by Alexei Parphyonov

You can, of course, find a lot of information about Blok and Mendeleev on the internet. They were prominent figures known not only in Russia, and they got their inspiration here, in these villages, not far from Moscow. So, welcome to get your inspiration here too :)

Dress code and democracy

Do you think women in Russia can dress like this (chose the right option):

•           to the office;
•          to a party;
•           for a date;
•           to a night club;
•          to take out the litter;
•           for a journey by train.

The answer is – all the options are possible: in Russia women can wear (and they do wear) short skirts and high (very high) heels everywhere.

When I asked one of my ex-colleagues what he thought was special in Russia and different from abroad, the first thing that came to his mind was women’s dress code. In his opinion, no matter what a woman wears (mini skirt or long dress, etc.) – she wants to be attractive. I promised that if I write about this topic I will tell the criteria how we girls chose what to wear. I was planning  to investigate the issue thoroughly and to draw a detailed decision tree after the investigation. And you know what… I got up this morning, opened my wardrobe, realized (again!) that I have nothing to wear and chose something more or less suitable to my mood.

I was getting dressed for the office, and well, I would have probably chosen a mini skirt, if it had not been snowing (yes, it is November 3 and it snows in Moscow). Oh, sorry. Snow do not stop us from wearing mini skirts. Did I think about the dress code? Well, apart from banks and some other places which have some special strict regulations about dress code, dress code is an elastic term. If you go to a conference for lawyers, you will see men wearing jeans and shirts, not so often – suits, and women wearing all kinds of skirts, dresses and trousers of all kinds of cuts, colors and prints (flowers, deers, Mickey Mouse, etc. are OK). 

So, mini skirt, suit or jeans, it all depends on the mood. And (with some exceptions, like, maybe, gym) there are no occasions or places or time when it is inappropriate to wear high heels in Russia. This is democracy. 



Photo by Ksenia Zasetskaya

Russian soul: getting to know, basic level

You have been living in Russia (or have been in touch with Russian friends/colleagues) for quite some time now, but you still feel you do not understand Russian people? Well, it is totally fine. It is just because of the "enigmatic Russian soul". So, if you want to understand better your Russian colleagues, partners or friends, you should probably try to follow some advice given below:

• start to learn about the soul by exploring Russia and observing ordinary people: if you think that by coming to Moscow you have seen the country, you are wrong. Moscow is Moscow, Russia is Russia. Just for you not to have a culture shock, first see Moscow and only then go to other places;
• when in Moscow, use the subway: if you go only on foot/by taxi, you will be able to see only touristic places, and it is not you goal: of course, visiting the Kremlin is a must, but the subway in Moscow is also special. Apart from looking at the old stations, look at people: some of them are just fashion stars:) https://vk.com/mmfshn;
• get to know the city with the locals: thus you will not only see the must-sees, but will learn more about the life style of a typical Moscovite; 
• if you have survived after seeing different parts of Moscow (not only the centre), you are ready for the trip! Take a map of Russia, close your eyes, chose the destination. It should be a small town, about 5 hours by train so that you would not be too exhausted after the trip, but it must be not close to Moscow (you can buy the ticket online on www.rzd.ru or www.tutu.ru, if you do not speak Russian); 
• get to know Russian culture: if you like to read, then read some of the books, that are truly Russian (the list of them will be in one of the following posts), go to the theatre, listen to famous Russian composers (e.g., Tchaikovski). If you do not like all that, you will probably like one of Leningrad's music videos, like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et281UHNoOU. Ask you Russian friend to translate dialogues from it so that you could understand what it is about;
• watch a movie: I do not know a single Russian who have not seen "Irony of fate" movie: this is about a middle aged guy who gets drunk with his friends in banya on New Year's Eve and accidentally goes to Saint-Petersburg instead of his friend: the rest of the story is quite touching, so if you like stories with happy endings and want to see a movie with Russian soul, watch this one;
• spend a day like a hero from a Russian fairy tale: enjoy yourself, do nothing. In Russian fairy tales and epic poems it happens often that a guy (Emelya, Ilia Muromets) is idling away his time while his brothers are constantly working, and not they but he becomes the hero because he catches a magic fish who fulfills all his dreams or conquers the bad guy because he is very strong. Follow their example: lie down, spare your strength, wait for magic to happen (I am sure it will be the most difficult tasks of all);

  

  The Bogatyrs (V. Vasnetsov, 1898). Ilia Muromets is the one in the middle.

• visit your Russian colleague/friend: you will see how people live. It depends on how close you are, but usually if you want to come to a Russian with a visit, you do not plan it long beforehand, For example, I never know who will call me and say that in an hour or so he/she will come to me for a cup of tea (in case I am home): receiving guests is a pleausre. not an inconvinience for us (if we like the guest, of course);
• try Russian food (like syrniki. pelmeni, pirozhki, Russian soups, etc.).

Hope that will be useful:) Please feel free to ask questions (if any).

Weekend à la Russe

It’s Sunday evening and the weekend is almost over, but - good news! – in 5 days there will be another one. So, how do Russians spend their weekends in summer?
 

Unless there are some plans in the city or special plans to travel to another place, most people leave the city (or town) to go to their dachas (if they are originally from the city) or to the place they are from (if they were born in one place and work in another).

Dacha is a summerhouse. Most dachas are located in dacha communities (where people do not live all year round, but just go on weekends or for the whole summer), others are in villages (where apart from dachas there are local people who live there all the time).

Flowers and herbs from the dacha

In summer the Russians like to spend their weekend fishing, going to forests to pick berries or mushrooms, going with friends and family to a picnic with shashlik (barbecue) by the river, enjoying the nature and the weather.

 We do not go to pick mushrooms/berries just because we want to eat them – you can always buy them during the season. But it is such a pleasure to wake up on the weekend, to put on something baggy and military-style (there are lots of mosquitos in our forests, so wearing such clothes you will not only be scary-looking, but also a hard nut to crack for them) and to go to the forest, breathe that smell, enjoy that beauty, look for the berries/mushrooms, sometimes for quite a time before you find the first one, make a competition with your companion who brings more of them home. After 4 or 5 hours you leave the forest, stop by the river on your way to swim and then come home, tired but extremely happy. You have lunch with the perfectly fried potatoes with mushrooms, then go to banya (Russian sauna) to relax.

In fact, the process of picking berries is very healthy: you make not less than 20 000 steps and you have to make squats hundreds of times for every berry (if it is wild strawberry, for example), so it is not only pleasure but also kind of sport. And aside from burned calories you breath in the smell of summer ecologically-friendly forest and then you enjoy the taste of the berries, which are so rich in vitamins and microelements.

 

Another Russian “sport” for the weekend is fishing. Well, this process is not that healthy – you have to sit on the river side for a long time (alone or together with a group of friends) and you have to drink lots of beer. It is OK if after fishing for some hours you come home without a fish (it is not the result, but the process that matters, same as with going to the forest). 

Fishing is for men, this is why I can not tell you much about that. They say in Russia that a woman at the fishing party is bad luck: you will not hook a single fish. And I want to bring luck, not bad luck. So I’d better meet you after the fishing with buckets full of water (this is of good omen in Russia :)

Russian village

If you travel to Russia for the first (second, etc.) time

(survival tactics)

First of all, be ready for disappointments: 1) we do not drink vodka all the time (some of us have never tried it, some of us  - like me - tried it twice in our lives, mixed with juice, at a party with Austrian friends), 2) KGB will not follow you – it even does not exist anymore. I will dispel other myths about Russia next time, today I will get you morally prepared for travelling to my beloved mother country.

Cathedral of Christ the Savior

·         Learn Russian or take a Russian-speaking friend with you, because not so many Russians speak English or another foreign language. Well, Moscow or other big cities are better, but if you go to a small town, at least download a phrase book on you phone. Do not repeat to Russians in Russia the phrase that some Russian friends of yours taught you when they were visiting your country– most probably they are swear words;

·         Do not ask a Russian “How are you”, unless you have an hour or so to listen to the answer. If to that question a Russian answered just “fine” or “good”, it means that 1) the person does not speak English or 2) the person does not want to speak now or 3) the person has experience in talking to foreigners;

·         Do not drink alcohol at all if you rent a car – drinking while driving (even a glass of wine/beer) is prohibited;

·         Be ready for long distances – if someone invites you to a dinner to his house and says “it’s close”, it may be an hour or more away by car/subway from where you are;

·         If a friend or colleague invited you to his house, do not eat beforehand: it is 99% probability that they will serve you a dinner. The rest 1% will at least offer you tea with biscuits or something sweet. If none of that happened – your friend is not Russian. If you are visiting a small town, the dinner will be substantial and they will be disappointed if you do not eat the food prepared especially for your visit. So, as I said, do not eat beforehandJ;

·         Take off your shoes when you come to someone’s house – we wear slippers at home, and not only after having shower (no need to bring your slippers with you though);

·         If you go somewhere by subway, and a woman on the opposite is closely watching you, do not think she is from KGB (remember: it does not exist), she is just interested – Russians are interested in foreigners and like to communicate with them;

·         Or – maybe that woman is watching you reproachfully because you are seated while an old woman is standing in front of you as there are no other seats available: we give places to the old and the pregnant. Girls also appreciate when a man gives place to them (even if they are not pregnant) – it is natural and polite, even though it does not happen often;

·         Be ready for all sorts of personal questions – it is OK if your colleagues ask you whether you are married or not, if yes, how you met your husband/wife, what books you like to read, where you go on vacation, etc. It just means we like you and we are interested. If you feel being interviewed and do not like answering such questions – just ask the person same questions and see how he/she will enjoy talking about himself/herself;

·         When in Russia, do as the Russians do – in my next posts I will tell you in more details what to wear and how to behaveJ  

“Next time you come to Moscow I will give you a romantic guide!” – I said cheerfully to my British colleague Fred when he came to Moscow office on business. Fred looked confused but smiled politely, as he was a gentleman. Well, I did not mean that some romantic person will escort him around Moscow, I just wanted to share with him a book where the most beautiful and romantic places of Moscow were marked. The conclusion from here is that even if we speak English, it is not always that understandable. So be ready to guess from Russian “English” what we mean.

Well, if you have any questions about travelling to Russia and survival tactics there, please contact me at tatianagloba@gmail.com, I will be glad to help. I still have that romantic guide (a book) that I can give youJ

What a (Russian) girl wants

A couple of weeks ago I was travelling from Moscow to another Russian city by train. I went to the conductor to buy some tea and  bumped up against a good-looking and well-dressed guy. Half an hour later the conductor approached me saying that the guy “is not married and dreams of a wife like you”: he brought me the guy’s name, address, phone number and disclosed some information on his job and background. When I was getting off  the train, the guy helped me with the heavy bags and took my number. He called several times a day and even (after 2 days he knew me) said hi from his parents who wanted to meet me; he brought flowers to the train when I was going back to Moscow and was looking forward to going to dance classes with me. Well, it would have been a perfect match, if I hadn’t been in love with another guy.

You’ll probably think - “isn’t it too early to talk about meeting parents and marriage”? For Russians it’s not. Well, of course there are exceptions. And of course people in Moscow, for example, marry later then in the rest of the country. But if a guy of 35 is not married and has never been married, people think there is something wrong with him. There is a Russian proverb saying that “If there is no intellect at the age of 20, there will never be any. If there is no wife at 30, there will never be any.” Guys with wives are considered more stable and serious by employers – this is why recruiters always ask about marital status.  

So, it is totally ok for a 31-year-old to look for girls for serious relationship only. And it would be totally fine for me after 2 days (ok, well…2 weeks) to meet his parents – after all, it would mean that he is serious about me (if you have been with a guy for a couple of months and you haven’t met his friends or family yet, he is not serious). And an average girl does not want to waste her time on a non-serious relationship.

Anyway, if you want to know what a Russian girl wants, here is what’s would make her think you’re ideal:

·         Attention: attention is the most important thing. I do understand that men don’t think about women all the time because they need to put a lot of effort into their career, but she doesn’t understand it. In order to make her think you think of her all the time, at least send her one message in the morning, one at the lunchtime and call her (it’s important!) in the evening. Even if you don’t like to chat, just call for at least 5 minutes – this way she would know you think of her, and you’ll know what she is doing. But don’t be too pushy though;

·         Flowers: Russian men very often bring flowers to dates, especially during first months of relationship. Try sending it to her work or home: she will appreciate your attention (and this is the most important thing, see point 1);

·         Restaurants: don’t ever let her pay - in Russia it’s always the man who pays. Sometimes she may take her wallet out saying that she’ll pay for herself, but she does it out of politeness or (even worse) she doesn’t want to feel obliged to you. Even if she insists, don’t let her do it! If you let her pay once you may only be a friend, not more;

·          Fairy tales: Russian girls were brought up reading Cinderella – they believe that one day Prince Charming will come and will save them (mostly from themselves). If after some months of relationship she says to you/sends a message saying it’s over – it is maybe because she doubts you are serious about her, and what you are supposed to do is to come to her apartment with flowers (or with a music band) and save her from the doubts. Or from something else (neighbors not letting her sleep, bad mood, etc.). If she loves you, she will automatically think you are her hero. And heroes are supposed to save their women. So please do it. If the fairytale scenario did not work, leave her alone;

·         Soul mate: you have probably heard about the “enigmatic Russian soul”. In fact, if you like the process of unraveling mysteries and the discovery of faint clues, dating a Russian girl is for you. Well, for a Russian girl it is important that you understand her. You will probably never understand her completely, but at least try to do it, show her that you are interested – read the same books she reads, go to the same places she goes, ask her about her childhood. Spend more time with her - be not just her boyfriend, but her soul mate. Which means (again) - pay more attention (point 1);

·    Don’t be pragmatic: Russians are not pragmatic, especially when they are in love. It is OK for a man whose salary is 30 thousand RU a month to buy a 100 thousand RU fur coat for his woman’s birthday (even if it means taking a loan). So at least do not show her you are pragmatic: if you are going to spend a weekend at a holiday hotel, and the only option left are expensive cottages for 20 thousand RU, and you say to your girlfriend you will not go there because it is stupid to spend so much money (even though you can afford it) just for a cottage, she will make the conclusion you do not really like her. Because if she likes you, she will spend without thinking 20 thousand just to buy the dress for the date, because she wants to please you. Even if it is the last money she has;

·     Marry her: we Russians are simple people: you love a person – you want the person to be yours forever – you marry. Even if you know that this person is the one after 1 month of relationship only. Remember: it is never too early.

Good luck,

Tatiana

No sex on the Red square

some tips about jokes in Russia

«Их  - орда, а нас  - рать»

(an untranslatable joke from KVN, a Russian humour TV show)

One day my department was at a lunch with a colleague, originally from England (let’s call him Robert) who came to Russia for the 1^st time on a business trip. While part of the team was talking with him about vodka (yes, Russians always drink it, and if they can’t drink it, at least they speak about it during lunch), another part was watching Anna cutting chicken on her plate. We were giving her advice how to best cut it when she asked: “Do you know why can’t you have sex on the Red square?” None of us could answer the question, so she answered herself: “Because they will talk you to death giving advice”.

the Red Square

So, it was a joke. But when I asked her to repeat the question for Robert, who was going to visit that very evening the Red Square, she started to doubt whether it was appropriate or not. Well, we’ll never know the answer, but it’s clear that in different countries and cultures sense of humour differs too.

Speaking about Russians and humour there is something you might find useful to know:

·         even though we do not smile very often (which just means that our smiles are true ones), we love to laugh, this is why one of the most popular shows in Russia is KVN (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KVN - this is a show invented by Russians, when teams from different cities, mostly students, compete in sense of humour. The teams make fun of the situation in the country, comment on politics, social events or other hot news topics;

·         we do understand humour from American comedies, because we watch them (as there are not so many good Russian movies now), but humour from “Friends” is one thing (almost all of my Russian friends like “Friends”, sorry for the tautology), while humor from comedies such as “American pie” is another one, not so funny for most of us. My personal opinion is that “top moments” from that movie are just disgusting (and it’s beyond my comprehension how anyone can really like such movies or even watch the movie from the beginning till the end);

·         the so-called “bathroom humour” is also not something we think to be most funny: for example, a joke from “Just go with it” when instead of saying he needed to go to the bathroom a child said that he needed “to make a Devlin” because that was the name of someone his mother didn’t like, can be (with great reserve) ok for once, but not so good that it can be repeated. For such kind of jokes you’ll never win KVN, for example, or you won’t find it in a popular Russian comedy that everyone likes. There have been many new Russian comedies recently where such humor took place, but we consider them to be third-rate and make fun of them (for example, this guy makes it in a very professional way - https://www.youtube.com/user/TheBadComedian);

·         what most of Russians really like is old soviet comedies (like “Ivan Vasilievich changes profession”, “Irony of fate”, “Office romance”, etc.): most of them have been watched and rewatched by any of us like a thousand times, but we still like them. The humor there is basically the play of words or just the characters behave in a funny way or the language they use is funny  – this is why when translated to other languages, these movies are not so amusing. Also most of us like old American (like “Some Like It Hot”) or French comedies (with Gerard Depardieu, Pierre Richard, etc.).

·         we like jokes which are “on the edge”, when there is a play on words, an equivoque. For example, it’s ok if a newly appointed director, when asked by a hot head of legal what his expectations from the legal department are, answers “I want to sleep well”. We all know that it means that Legal should in this case just provide such support to the company that there were no legal risks, but the way to get out this message shows that the person has a sense of humor, which is always a plus. By the way, in Russian society such comments are not considered as sexual harassment. Actually, the topic of sexual harassment in Russia does not exist at all. It’s also ok when during a business meeting a male colleague shows his IPhone 6+ and when asked why not just IPhone 6 says that it’s because “Size matters”;

·         it’s ok to make a joke on us, because most of us have an ability to have a good laugh at ourselves. So it is absolutely ok for a president to give an English phrasebook to Vitaly Mutko, Russian minister of sport, who is famous for his “let me speak from my heart” speech (just search “Mutco speaks English” on the internet if you still haven’t heard of it). Speaking about speaking a foreign language, as  a famous Russian writer Sergei Dovlatov said, “when speaking a foreign language, we lose 80% of our personality. We lose the ability to joke, to speak ironically about something. That’s what makes me panic.”

As a conclusion, I encourage you to laugh at (or better with) us, because a good laugh makes us live a longer and happier life. And now, happy about the idea that after writing this text in English I still have about 20% of my personality left, I’m going to bed. Need to sleep before going to the Red square tomorrow.

P.S. Find a joke in the 1^st paragraph of this message.