You’ll
probably think - “isn’t it too early to talk about meeting parents and
marriage”? For Russians it’s not. Well, of course there are exceptions. And of
course people in Moscow, for example, marry later then in the rest of the
country. But if a guy of 35 is not married and has never been married, people
think there is something wrong with him. There is a Russian proverb saying that
“If there is no intellect at the age of 20, there will never be any. If there
is no wife at 30, there will never be any.” Guys with wives are considered more
stable and serious by employers – this is why recruiters always ask about
marital status.
So, it is totally ok for a 31-year-old to look for
girls for serious relationship only. And it would be totally fine for me after
2 days (ok, well…2 weeks) to meet his parents – after all, it would mean that
he is serious about me (if you have been with a guy for a couple of months and
you haven’t met his friends or family yet, he is not serious). And an average
girl does not want to waste her time on a non-serious relationship.
Anyway, if you want to know what a Russian girl wants,
here is what’s would make her think you’re ideal:
· Attention: attention is the most important thing. I do understand
that men don’t think about women all the time because they need to put a lot of
effort into their career, but she doesn’t understand it. In order to make her
think you think of her all the time, at least send her one message in the
morning, one at the lunchtime and call her (it’s important!) in the evening.
Even if you don’t like to chat, just call for at least 5 minutes – this way she
would know you think of her, and you’ll know what she is doing. But don’t be
too pushy though;
· Flowers: Russian men very often bring flowers to dates,
especially during first months of relationship. Try sending it to her work or
home: she will appreciate your attention (and this is the most important thing,
see point 1);
· Restaurants: don’t ever let her pay - in Russia it’s always the man
who pays. Sometimes she may take her wallet out saying that she’ll pay for
herself, but she does it out of politeness or (even worse) she doesn’t want to
feel obliged to you. Even if she insists, don’t let her do it! If you let her
pay once you may only be a friend, not more;
· Fairy tales: Russian girls were brought up
reading Cinderella – they believe that one day Prince Charming will come and
will save them (mostly from themselves). If after some months of relationship
she says to you/sends a message saying it’s over – it is maybe because she
doubts you are serious about her, and what you are supposed to do is to come to
her apartment with flowers (or with a music band) and save her from the doubts.
Or from something else (neighbors not letting her sleep, bad mood, etc.). If
she loves you, she will automatically think you are her hero. And heroes are
supposed to save their women. So please do it. If the fairytale scenario did
not work, leave her alone;
· Soul mate: you have probably heard about the “enigmatic Russian soul”. In fact, if you like the
process of unraveling mysteries and the discovery of faint clues, dating a
Russian girl is for you. Well,
for a Russian girl it is important that you understand her. You will probably
never understand her completely, but at least try to do it, show her that you
are interested – read the same books she reads, go to the same places she goes,
ask her about her childhood. Spend more time with her - be not just her
boyfriend, but her soul mate. Which means (again) - pay more attention (point
1);
· Don’t be pragmatic: Russians are not pragmatic, especially when they are
in love. It is OK for a man whose salary is 30 thousand RU a month to buy a 100
thousand RU fur coat for his woman’s birthday (even if it means taking a loan).
So at least do not show her you are pragmatic: if you are going to spend a
weekend at a holiday hotel, and the only option left are expensive cottages for
20 thousand RU, and you say to your girlfriend you will not go there because it
is stupid to spend so much money (even though you can afford it) just for a
cottage, she will make the conclusion you do not really like her. Because if
she likes you, she will spend without thinking 20 thousand just to buy the
dress for the date, because she wants to please you. Even if it is the last
money she has;
· Marry
her: we Russians are simple people: you love a person – you want the person
to be yours forever – you marry. Even if you know that this person is the one
after 1 month of relationship only. Remember: it is never too early.
Good luck,
Tatiana
